Julia and Jack (all name and details disguised here) looked like a couple with a bright future: two attractive, successful thirty-year-olds who had been thoroughly enjoying their engagement when they came to my Manhattan office for premarital counseling. We worked on communication and conflict-management skills and I sensed that they were eager to learn and…Read more
Want a Winning Marriage? Stop Keeping Score
So tempting, when we’re disappointed or frustrated with our relationship, to turn into the play-by-play commentator. “I did the cleaning and the shopping,” we say on an overscheduled weekend. “You just did one errand.” Or “I initiated sex three times this month and you only did twice.” Or “We’re way over budget this month but…Read more
The Downton Abbey Guide to Couples Counseling
Why did we all love Downton? The period costumes. The stunning interiors and table settings. And, of course, those gorgeous hats. But mostly, I’m thinking, it was the dialogue. No blaring electronics. No foul language. No one used “like” as a verbal tic or ended a declarative sentence with a question mark. Conversation on Downton…Read more
Hurricane Sandy and You’re Home with Your Spouse?
Whether you’re tripping over each other in a small apartment or worrying about trees falling on your house, this much time together chez vous is stressful for many couples. Just acknowledging that to each other is a great first step. Take a few minutes to sit down and make a plan: divide your space, plan…Read more
“The Scream” and Anger Management
So “The Scream” has arrived in NYC. The 1895 pastel version of Edvard Munch’s iconic image that sold at auction for a record $119.9 million this past May got its New York museum debut at MOMA today. Perfect time to wonder whether screaming or other kinds of venting — pillow punching, ranting, telling a chair to shut…Read more