The Japanese art of kintsugi offers a lovely metaphor for human growth and relationship repair. Broken pottery is repaired with gold-dusted lacquer, creating gold seams in place of the original cracks. The resulting piece is more beautiful than the original. Kintsugi (“joined with gold”) may have originated in the late 14th century when shogun Ashikaga…Read more
“I’m Not In Love With You Anymore”
Just heard these words from your partner? Feeling this way yourself? Either way, it’s a pivotal moment. Whether you’re scared, or sad, or resigned, know that even though it feels like doom for your relationship, this sentence offers you the opportunity to breathe new life into it. Falling out of love doesn’t need to be a…Read more
Arguing laundry or politics? Turn conflict into opportunity
This week I did a segment on the National Public Radio program To the Point, “One Year Later: Is Political Polarization Affecting Your Family?“ on KCRW in Los Angeles. It’s not easy for any of us to believe that conflict can be a positive, especially family conflict about the current administration. Even if you don’t describe…Read more
Romance gone?
With your sex life at low ebb it’s tempting to assume that a) your partner no longer finds you attractive or b) it’s your marital manifest destiny to have the chemistry fizzle out. No denying that the love life of a married couple is different from that of a single, but different doesn’t mean worse.…Read more
Couple fights: 3 simple rules from Saigon traffic
Handling conflict is tough for most couples. On a recent (and wonderful) trip to Vietnam, I learned a new way to think about it. Saigon’s nonstop stream of roaring motorcycles and cars is risky enough to scare even your average jaywalking New Yorker: virtually no traffic lights, lanes or Walk/Don’t Walk signals in a city…Read more
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