Real-Life Relationship Repairs

Beautiful in the broken places

The Japanese art of kintsugi offers a lovely metaphor for human growth and relationship repair. Broken pottery is repaired with gold-dusted lacquer, creating gold seams in place of the original cracks. The resulting piece is more beautiful than the original. Kintsugi (“joined with gold”) may have originated in the late 14th century when shogun Ashikaga […]

“I’m Not In Love With You Anymore”

Just heard these words from your partner? Feeling this way yourself? Either way, it’s a pivotal moment. Whether you’re scared, or sad, or resigned, know that even though it feels like doom for your relationship, this sentence offers you the opportunity to breathe new life into it. Falling out of love doesn’t need to be a […]

Arguing laundry or politics? Turn conflict into an opportunity

This week I did a segment on the National Public Radio program To the Point, “One Year Later: Is Political Polarization Affecting Your Family?“ on KCRW in Los Angeles. It’s not easy for any of us to believe that conflict can be a positive, especially family conflict about the current administration. Even if you don’t describe […]

Romance gone?

With your sex life at low ebb it’s tempting to assume that a) your partner no longer finds you attractive or b) it’s your marital manifest destiny to have the chemistry fizzle out.  No denying that the love life of a married couple is different from that of a single, but different doesn’t mean worse. […]