Real-Life Relationship Repairs

The 4-Minute Work Break: Give Yourself a 12-Month Summer Vacation

If you liked The 4-Hour Work Week but still have a regular job, listen up:  You’re spending way too little time on vacation.  Some of the most stressed-out people I know weekend in lovely settings out east or down the shore.  They remind me of prize fighters who retreat to the corner of the ring for a quick […]

Why Gatsby and Daisy Aren’t Soulmates

Baz Luhrmann’s  “The Great Gatsby” got me thinking about what makes a soulmate. Picking out Daisy’s green light at the end of his dock, Gatsby has “orgastic” dreams of romping “like the mind of God,” of  listening to “the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star.”  Daisy, in Gatsby’s mind, is his soulmate.  She catches […]

21 Minutes a Year to a Stronger Marriage

Julia and Jack (all name and details disguised here) looked like a couple with a bright future:  two attractive, successful thirty-year-olds who had been thoroughly enjoying their engagement when they came to me for premarital counseling.  We worked on communication and conflict-management skills and I sensed that they were eager to learn and willing to […]

Want a Winning Marriage? Stop Keeping Score

So tempting, when we’re disappointed or frustrated with our relationship, to turn into the play-by-play commentator.  “I did the cleaning and the shopping,” we say on an overscheduled weekend.  “You just did one errand.”  Or “I initiated sex three times this month and you only did twice.”  Or “We’re way over budget this month but […]