Chances are you don’t know how to be married. I know I didn’t when we first tied the knot, and decades later I keep learning and practicing. It’s the only way.
Many people think marriage should come naturally if you’ve chosen the right person. But getting accurate expectations and learning the skills of intimate communication makes all the difference.
A couple may match up amazingly in an online dating app, or feel incredibly lucky to have met at a party, and those experiences are super important in powering you forward. The early magic provides great motivation!
But what keeps us together for the long term is that motivation plus the skills and patience to keep working at it, to keep learning about ourselves and our partner, to be willing to grow. If you want lifelong fulfillment, getting past the Match.com mentality is key. You don’t just find The One, you keep becoming The One to each other, year in and year out
Effective couples therapy gives you the research-based tools and support you need to do that. Trying pretty hard now and feeling helpless or frustrated? Learning how to work smart will get you toward your goals. Soon you can find yourselves feeling confident that your relationship can weather any storm…and provide you both with shelter.