Marriage counseling is helpful when your relationship is in trouble, but in my Manhattan marriage counseling practice I find that many couples discover it’s invaluable as they head toward a major life transition. Looking forward to the birth of your first child? Is the empty nest around the corner? Wondering about life together in retirement? Life…Read more
Beautiful in the broken places
The Japanese art of kintsugi offers a lovely metaphor for human growth and relationship repair. Broken pottery is repaired with gold-dusted lacquer, creating gold seams in place of the original cracks. The resulting piece is more beautiful than the original. Kintsugi (“joined with gold”) may have originated in the late 14th century when shogun Ashikaga…Read more
Couple fights: 3 simple rules from Saigon traffic
Handling conflict is tough for most couples. On a recent (and wonderful) trip to Vietnam, I learned a new way to think about it. Saigon’s nonstop stream of roaring motorcycles and cars is risky enough to scare even your average jaywalking New Yorker: virtually no traffic lights, lanes or Walk/Don’t Walk signals in a city…Read more
Dreading Valentine’s Day?
So your relationship is a long way from dreamy, and you’re thinking your husband or wife doesn’t deserve a Valentine this year. You’re just not feeling it. Sending a hearts-and-flowers card would be fake, and might convey that he or she is off the hook for more than a few things you’re not too…Read more
Why Gatsby and Daisy Aren’t Soulmates
Baz Luhrmann’s “The Great Gatsby” got me thinking about what makes a soulmate. Picking out Daisy’s green light at the end of his dock, Gatsby has “orgastic” dreams of romping “like the mind of God,” of listening to “the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star.” Daisy, in Gatsby’s mind, is his soulmate. She catches…Read more
