With your sex life at low ebb it’s tempting to assume that a) your partner no longer finds you attractive or b) it’s your marital manifest destiny to have the chemistry fizzle out. No denying that the love life of a married couple is different from that of a single, but different doesn’t mean worse. Learn how to combine friendship and fantasies and you can unleash a rich and lasting passion.
That means learning how to talk to each other gently and honestly about your desires, turnoffs, and sensations, both in and out of bed. Intimate communication is a delicate art. Even if you’re best friends and make a great team at parenting and work-life integration, married sex takes you into uncharted territory. It’s an ongoing exploration of balancing fairness and adventure, tenderness and tension. (A little humor helps, too.) If you’re among the 20 percent of couples whose sex life tends to fall by the wayside, you can find your way back to each other.
Chances are you’ll feel awkward at first, but before long you’ll be creating a more fulfilling connection. That doesn’t mean every encounter is going to be a movie scene, but you’ll enjoy being close and tender and even playful. And you’re building intimacy that nurtures your whole relationship.
How to get there? In my recent post on The Good Men Project, I offered a roadmap. Hope you’ll take a look at “5 Ways Out of Your Sexual Sahara.”