“I’m Not In Love With You Anymore”

Just heard these words from your partner? Feeling this way yourself? Either way, it’s a pivotal moment.

Whether you’re scared, or sad, or resigned, know that even though it feels like doom for your relationship, this sentence offers you the opportunity to breathe new life into it.

Falling out of love doesn’t need to be a terminal diagnosis. Instead, it’s a symptom — a symptom so common I think of it as a normal stage in the life of a marriage.

Every day I talk to couples who have fallen out of love. And I also see couples discover that withthe tools and support they need, they can fall back in love. 

Every marriage goes through different chapters. Sometimes partners are busy with aspects of life other than their relationship: career, kids, illness, an aging parent. Or they’re arguing so much that they start avoiding each other, maybe even turning to their work spouse. Or they’ve been growing and changing individually and feel like they’ve outgrown the marriage.

Partners like these have back-burnered their couple relationship  The qualities that attracted them to each other and the life they dreamed of building haven’t gone away, but for a while they’ve been neglected.

And a marriage needs care and feeding. Falling out of love is often a sign that you haven’t been cultivating the creative growth a relationship needs to stay alive and thrive. It’s a wake-up call.

Instead of giving up, ask yourselves whether you’re ready to learn new ways to approach conflict and nurture intimacy. This can be your moment to explore the new possibilities that lie ahead.

Since 1990 I have been helping busy people in the New York area recover from pain and stress, gain confidence, and enjoy more trusting, fulfilling relationships.

To take the first step toward the life and relationship you want, reach out to me today. You can expect a prompt reply from me, usually within 3 hours.

Use the contact form to book an individual or couples/ marriage counseling session, or to ask questions and learn how I can help.